“I live with my real parents. My adopted parents are my real parents,” was always my answer.
Being adopted is something I’ve never had to deal with. It was just always common fact. I knew I was adopted since as far back as I can remember. It was just never an issue for me. Actually, if I am completely honest, I remember writing a poem once I believe in the sixth grade. Wondering why my birth mother didn’t want me. In it I talked about how I had been a mistake. But I knew that was ridiculous even when I wrote that, and that my birth mother simply couldn’t care for me so she did a selfless act by giving me up. She gave me the opportunity to have a life that she could never provide for me. And I couldn’t have been placed in a better home.
Most people never believed me when they found out I was adopted. My mom and I actually look very similar. You would think we are a family. Actually, our entire family looks like we belong to each other, because in all reality, we do. God knew what He was doing when He was placing us all in our home. He knew we were meant to be a forever family.
I never knew much about my birthparents. I’ll tell you what I do know. My birth mother and father were not married when she got pregnant with me. She had a very uneasy pregnancy, which is part of why I am usually not at ease they say. Their physical traits were shared with me. My birthmother is 5’3.5” which is funny because I am that height exactly. She also weighs 120. I weigh 113. So we must be similar physically. She has red hair, blue eyes, and fair skin. She was a dancer and loved reading too. I love music and dancing so I must get part of that from her. My birth father was in jail when I was born, who knows for what. He was 5’8 I believe, with dark olive skin, black hair, and brown eyes. My friends and I always joked that I was part black, because as you can see I am quite fair skinned. He also took medicine for epilepsy which I have a feeling my future children could possibly get. Hopefully they do not have to deal with seizures, knock on wood.
In Costa Rica this past Christmas, where that amazing photo is taken, my mom told me things that she never felt appropriate to tell me until I was married. For instance, my birth father was in jail when I was born. Also, I was my birth mom’s third child. She kept the older two and we were all very close in age. I am a full blood sibling with the one above me, and the oldest is my half blood sibling. My birth grandmother was raising them and wanted to raise me as well but it wasn’t possible. She was so angry at my birth mother because she knew she couldn’t keep me. She says it broke her heart, and I believe that. Apparently, my birth grandmother wrote me a very sweet note letting me know that having to say goodbye to me was the hardest thing she ever had to do. She also let me know she’d be thinking about me and praying for me everyday of my life.
Do I want to meet them? Not really. I would meet my birth grandmother because I think it would put her heart at peace. And if I were to meet any of them, it would be more for them than for myself. I don’t need relationships with them because I am perfectly happy with my real family that I am sealed to for eternity. Words cannot do justice in trying to explain just how much I love all of them individually and collectively. My parents were and are the best parents ever. They sacrificed years trying to bring all of us into their home. I am so grateful for that and can truly never repay them because of it.
Let me introduce you to my family. They are after all, the best people I know. This is Scott. He is the best big brother I could ever dream up. Although we had our moments, I like to think we are very close now, especially since we have both grown up a lot. Scott is all about loyalty and privacy. You know you can tell him something in confidence and it will stay that way. You also know when he is loyal to you, and you to him; he will never break that loyalty. Scott hates gossip, which has been an awesome example and reminder to me with my loud mouth. Scott is all about doing things on his time, I guess you could say he’s stubborn in a good way. You know if he does something with you, or for you, or anything in general, it’s because he really wants to do it, not because someone is making him or because he’s trying to be someone he’s not. He has always been true to himself and to those he loves. Scott is the perfect big brother and I could not ask for a better one. I love him. Isn’t he handsome?
Next is my beautiful Lauren, or Lolo as we love calling her. Tanner started this nickname for her, and it’s stuck. I can’t describe Lauren any better than saying she is a beautiful soul. And she is stunning outside and in! From the time she was little we always had people telling us how beautiful she was. Even as a baby! Lauren does not like contention. My parents always used to call her the peacemaker. She is slow to speak and when she speaks you want to hear because you know she really cares about what she’s talking about. She does not get angry easy, and when she does it’s usually for a very good reason, but she quickly gets over it. I can’t tell you the number of times I was the evil big sister and she was still kind to me, and forgave me quick for unkind things I said or did. I adore this girl! She is my snuggle buddy for life. We used to share a room and a queen bed and everyone always made fun of us because we would always cuddle in our sleep. Lauren is not frivolous and reminds me of my mom in many ways. Lauren was never like the typical teenage girl who was materialistic and only tried to date the popular boys. She was tender hearted, always stuck up for her values and what was important to her, and never pretended to be someone she wasn’t. She does not waste her energy on things that don’t matter. She gets life and what’s important in it. I just can’t get enough of this girl. I love her!
Taylor is a one of a kind little brother. There is no one who has such a unique personality as he does. That kid is off the walls but in a good way! If there’s one thing you can be certain of when it comes to Taylor, it’s that there’s never a dull moment when he’s around. He lights up a room so quickly! He can always make me laugh even on my worst day. Taylor is also very tender hearted. I have never seen anyone so compassionate about the most random people, even those who he hardly knows at times. Talent is his middle name. Musically, athletically, dramatically, and in every field the boy is talented. When he wants something, he goes for it. Sometimes with a little push but nonetheless, he goes for it. I have the best little brother in the entire universe hands down. Words cannot describe how fun our relationship is and we are also very close sharing everything under the sun. I remember after hanging out with dumb boys growing up, I’d call him in my room and tell him never to do this or that when he was older and dating girls. I can tell you; the kid’s a natural gentleman. Girls flock to him. I literally hate to admit this, but sometimes I even get jealous of Taylor because of how easy and naturally all his talent comes to him. Taylor and I can get pretty competitive, and even if I beat him I always know he’s not far behind. That kid’s going to do big things one day. I can’t wait to see what’s in store for him.
Susy is my mini me. That’s what I’ve called her for as long as I can remember. Susy and I have a special relationship. I get her. I understand where she’s coming from with things. I have never met anyone who is so passionate about everything she cares about in life. Susy defines the word passion. She is playful and fun and super smart when she chooses to apply herself. She thinks she is judgmental, but she’s not. Susy understands that people make mistakes and that it doesn’t mean they are bad people; she understands forgiveness. It takes most people a lifetime to figure that out and she’s figured it out by the young age of seventeen; even before then. She has my favorite laugh ever! She describes it as obnoxious but I think it’s unique, hilarious, and makes me laugh even harder! I’ve never met anyone who I can have as much fun with and share as much giggles with than her in such a short period of time. We can laugh ourselves to tears over inside jokes, silliness, and special “moments” we may have. This girl understands about having fun and having the ability to laugh at herself. She is such a great and dedicated sister and friend to all those who know her. She never complains about having to help others out and even looks forward to it. I can always count on Susy to be honest with me with things as little as “Does my hair look bad?” to as serious as, “Am I making a life mistake by doing this?” She always gives me her honest opinion; nothing less. I love my mini me to pieces!
Where to begin with my parents. I’ll tell you about them together because that’s how they always act; as a united force. I love them both so much! My mother is the hardest worker to know. My dad is too, but I literally feel my mom has no down time. She is up before the rest of us and doing work for us and to make our lives better until she goes to bed at night. She still knows how to have fun though and through the years I have learned to better appreciate and more so catch on to her humor. My dad is the king of humor! Like I mentioned in another memory of mine, my dad taught me to laugh at myself and at life when it gets you down. My dad was such a perfect example to us of a worthy Priesthood holder. I could not be luckier with either one of them. My mom is the most selfless person I know, never doing anything for her and always putting us first. My dad is such a reliable provider for all of us and never complains about it. He comes home and pitches in after his long day of work to all of those who need help and with stuff my mom needs. Both of my parents are totally honest with them and us, and have always taught and led by example that honesty is the best policy. While it may get you in trouble at the time, it will serve you better in the long run. They have both also been amazing examples in the church and what it means to have Christ as the center of your life. They faithfully led us in daily scriptures and prayers, and weekly family home evening, and always made sure we made it to all of our church meetings. There are no better examples than my parents. Also, they always made sure to spend quality one on one time with us. They never made one child seem more important than the other, and they always showed genuine interest in us and our hobbies and past times. They wanted to be involved with everything we wanted them to be a part of. They offered us the world; endless opportunities. They paid for music lessons, sports, camps, extra help with school, anything we wanted or needed to help us improve, exceed, and reach our fullest potential. They sacrificed for us on a daily basis whether it was time, money, or energy. I remember no matter how mad they got at me for dumb things I did, they never stopped loving me. Also, whenever I was going through a rough time, or one of my siblings was, where we were not making the best decisions, or even when our heart was just broken, they were there with nothing but open arms and love. My parents are angels to me. It doesn’t get better than them. They both taught us the value of hard work and responsibility. Also, they always kept things we told them in confidence unless we gave them permission to tell others. They were totally loyal to all of us. They forgave and forgot easily. They never held grudges. One thing I’ll always remember about my mom was while other moms were gossiping and sharing things about other people and their own children that were private, my mother would never take any part in this. She also never allowed us to speak ill or gossip of anyone. She would simply say, “Let’s not do that. They’re not in the room to defend themselves.” That made a lasting impact on me. I hope I can be half the parent they both are. They set the bar high. The both of them radiate goodness. Take a look for yourself!
I was so blessed to be literally handed the BEST family in the world. They are my favorite people EVER.
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