My Daddykins

My dad is the best man I know. Well, I take that back. After being married for two and a half years, he now has competition with my husband. But my husband still hasn’t bought me those new shoes or diamond earrings, so I would have to go with my dad today. Also, my dad just paid for an all expense Christmas vacation for our family, including myself and my hunky husband, so as of now, he’s won this competition. Getting back to the point though, my dad is absolutely amazing.
There are few men you can trust in your life, and I mean that. And by trust, I mean open up to with your whole heart and let them see you at your best and your worst. Also, trust encompasses being able to tell them anything, at anytime, knowing that you will have their unconditional love. I trust my dad. My dad was always “that guy.”
You may be asking, especially if you are in your teenage years, “Are you kidding me? You care about your dad that much?” My answer would be to you, “Yes. Yes I do. More than you can ever know actually.” And did I go through that terrible teenage phase where I acted like my dad was scum whenever he walked into the room? I totally did. That’s just a normal part of life! If you haven’t had that phase, you were never a teenage girl. One of my dad’s favorite stories to tell is about me going through this phase. When people tell him how good of a relationship we have, or when he can’t believe it himself, he goes back to this story. “You know, there was a time Lindsay when you used to think I was just this awful, terrible human being. I remember coming home after work one day. You were in the study, and as soon as I walked into the door, and you looked up and saw me, you just burst into tears!” He hadn’t even said anything. Yes, yes I was that “annoyed” by my dad.
But thank goodness for him putting up with me through those years because now he is one of my best friends! He always was, but I just had to realize this myself.
My dad was the person who would let me cry, literally, as many tears as it took before I felt better about something. My dad was the one who reassured me that I was so capable and that I really could do anything. He’s one of the few people who honestly believed in me all the way, and thought that my dreams were worth pursuing. Dad is someone who told me “Go for it! And go further than ‘it!’” I remember him always telling me that I could be great, that I was great and could always be better. What inspiration and what an awesome reminder!
Dad coached me in volleyball. One important thing I learned from that? He doesn’t show favorites, even to his own daughter. One game, that at the time made me SO mad, but now makes me laugh and even grateful with an “older” perspective, was the one he pulled me out of. I’ll never forget it. We were playing in a tournament, you know the kind of tournaments where if you lose, you go home. It was my club volleyball team. My confidence was not always the highest on this team because some of the girls were not the nicest. Well, my dad got very intense in this game. I was playing back row at the time. For those of you who don’t know the game of volleyball, what is wrong with you? You think you’re living? No I’m totally kidding! For those of you who don’t know, when you play back row, you basically take all the hits and all the heat; literally. You know those girls who hit or spike the ball as hard as they can from the other side? And usually try to go straight down in the back row? Those are what we get the pleasure of going for. Well, the girls from the soon to be losing team, kept hitting to our back row. They kept going directly to Hayley, but unfortunately for me, she kept missing. She was always a step too slow to retrieve the ball. From the sidelines I heard that dreaded call, “LINDSAY!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! YOU HAVE GOT TO GET THE BALL!” Of course, me being my teenage self, and hearing this from my dad, shouted back, “Dad! It’s not MY ball!” This did not go over well with my dad. “Well step on her! I don’t care! Get the ball! You do NOT let it hit the ground!” What happened next? I wish I could say I made some amazing play, but no. I didn’t. I failed again after Hayley attempted and fell short. I looked over with an “I dare you to yell at me again” look to my dad. And what did he do? He yelled at me. This time, it was worse. “LINDSAY! STEP ON HER!” “Dad, seriously I am NOT going to step on her!” His reply? “IF YOU DON’T STEP ON HER, YOU’RE OUT!!!” Well, let’s just say he wasn’t kidding. After failing to step on my teammates sprawled out body on that hard wooden court, I was pulled out of the game. I remember I didn’t even sit on the bench. I flew out the gym doors like I owned the place and burst into tears. Some of you are probably thinking what a terrible story! But it’s really not, I assure you. That taught me things. Looking back, it taught me that if I wanted something, it didn’t matter what the cost, I had to go for it. Well obviously it does matter what it costs; you don’t want to lose people close to you over something. But you get the picture. Also, if I wanted something, my dad knew that I could do it and he wouldn’t settle with failure on my part. He believed in me. It’s also now a hilarious story between the two of us that often comes up. And probably earned some hardcore coaching points on my dad’s part, from the other girls on the team. Their view of my dad being this nice coach had been skewed for sure, and we probably played a bit harder after that.
One of my favorite things to do with my dad ever was to play volleyball in our back or side yard. We would sometimes play with music, but usually just talk while we played. We would “pepper” with each other. That’s where you pass back and forth, but you do a “pass, set, hit!” Volleyball was a true bonding time for my dad and I. I loved every minute of it. He also set up a fun league on Tuesday nights. Senior year, he would let me play until midnight at the church with him, his coworkers, others of our church, and random individuals who heard about it in our community. That league has now been going for over five years. I loved it! We would jam out to the Beetles or Beach Boys on the way, and enjoy every minute of our time out on the court. I loved being the youngest there, and loved that my dad was proud to have me there with all of these players who, most of, were a lot more experienced than myself. I will cherish these memories forever.
Another favorite memory with Dad was singing and playing together. He is a very talented guitarist, and can play anything after hearing it once. So we would have jam sessions. I would sing while my dad accompanied me on his guitar. If I were visiting home right now, that’s one of the first things I would do. Going along with his guitar, whenever I had a rough night trying to fall asleep, even in high school, he would come in and sing and play some of my favorite songs to me until I fell asleep. He is such a dedicated Dad.
My dad is the one who taught me how to have a sense of humor. And believe it or not, it’s one of the most important lessons I have ever learned and mastered. I have a sense of humor. Let’s be clear about that. In fact, sometimes my humor goes too far and I laugh at totally inappropriate times, totally inappropriate things, and I often laugh to that moment where it’s too hard to breathe and too hard to see because your eyes are brimmed over with rolling tears streaming your twisted up, laughing face. What can I say? I find so many things hilarious, to an extreme point. From a young age, my dad taught me by example that it’s okay to laugh at things. In fact, he encouraged it! How many people can say that about their dad? My dad found laughter to be the best medicine. And he taught me, that laughing could change situations so quickly. Who did my dad teach me to laugh at for the most part? At myself. As far back as I can remember, rather than having people laugh at me, I started the laughing at myself or I would join in and tease myself. It always surprised people that I took things this well and that I could just join in and actually find my shortcomings or mistakes absolutely hilarious. Dad always tells me that this is an invaluable lesson I have learned. I wouldn’t trade my ability to laugh for anything. It’s invaluable for two reasons: it’s a wonderful life long skill that has changed negatives to positives and will many more times, and my dad taught me this gift of being able to laugh at myself.
I can’t wait for my future kids to have my dad for their grandfather. I was jipped when it comes to grandpas. Not that I had bad ones. I had the best ones in the world but way too little time with these wonderfully inspiring men. I miss them. I think my “weird” obsession with cute old men comes from missing my grandpas. I wonder how I would have been different had I been able to have a relationship with them and have them physically here for me when I was in high school and college especially. Thank goodness I will get to see them on the other side. And I have often felt them cheering for me from that side, so I could not be more grateful. But I am happy that my dad’s still young enough to be around for when Tanner and I start our family. I want them to have my dad as their grandpa and to have him there for them like I did. They would truly be missing out without having him here. My dad is the best. My dad is mine and I wouldn’t want anyone else in his spot.